爱情是什么
                                         秦仕彬
   “爱情是什么”这个话题在整个人类的历史上，都是经久不衰的永恒的话题。从散文家、诗人到画家、
音乐家等等，很多的作品中，都会体现爱情这个主题。而且，我们自然会想到梁祝、罗密欧和朱丽叶等经
典的爱情，那么，爱情到底是什么呢？这里就来谈谈爱情的心理本质。
    爱情是一种情感。人的爱情体验是他对于人或物的一种态度。这种态度在不同得人身上有不同的表现，
在同一个人身上也会随着不同的对象表现的也不同。但是，当我们说“我爱……”的时候，人们的内心都会
有一种共同的情感，那就是希望所爱的对象经常的保持在自己的身旁而害怕失去她。这种情感的强度当然会
随着不同的对象而不同，大体上可以分为两种，一种是从自己出发，所爱的对象是可以给自己带来愉悦的，
爱她是为了占有她；另一种是考虑对象的态度感受，可以为了对方而奉献自己，爱她就是为了她好。因此，

对于我们年轻人来讲，不要轻易的说“我爱……”，更不能滥用。
    从物种起源上来讲，这种爱情的本原是深远的，源于生命的深处，是延续种族的本能这种本能是动物和
人类都共同拥有的，如同拥有饥饿感一样。而人类的爱情不能等同于动物，动物没有爱情，只有人类才可以
拥有这份珍贵的情感。正如恩格斯所说“现代的爱情，同单纯的性爱是根本不同的。第一，它之所以爱对方
是以互爱为前提的；在这方面，妇女和男子有着同等的地位……第二，性爱常常表达这样强烈和持久的程度，
如果不能彼此结合，对对方来说即使不是最大的不幸也是一个很大的不幸；仅仅为了彼此的结合，双方甘冒
很大的危险，甚至拿生命来孤注一掷……最后，对于性交关系的评价，我们还要问：是不是由于爱情，由于
相互的爱而产生的？”
     爱情也是在习惯的影响下发展和巩固的。正确良好的家庭关系之所以可以巩固爱情，正是由于把这种爱
情变成了习惯。在深刻和愉悦的爱情感中，爱情的各个方面都合谐的交融在一起，这就是爱情的心理本质。
     在脱稿之时，偶然看到这样一篇文章，可以从另外一个角度来看待爱情，同时也可以锻炼一下我们的英
语：
     DO you sometimes wonder why people fall in love and stay in love ?
     Well it turns out,according to research from the State University of New York,Buffalo,that
 curiosity may be part of the answer .Doctoral students in psychology have found  that people 
who are naturally curious are more likely to form close relationships  than people who lack an 
inquiring mind.
     Here’s how they did the study :They measured levels of curiosity in 45men and  45 women
 by asking them a series of questions.Then they created male-female pairs  and randomly assigned
 them to one of two groups.
     In one group,the pairs spent 45 minutes answering a series of questions designed  to encou-
rage personal closeness and intimacy,for example :”If you were going to  become a close friend
 with your partner ,please share what would be important  for him or her to know.”
      The second group spent 45minutes answering less-intimacy-provoking queries,such  as,”what
 was your high school like ?”Then both groups were questioned to determine  how close they felt 
to their research partner at the end of the experiment.
      The researchers found that the individuals identified as more curious were significantly  
more likely to have formed warmer relationships,even after just 45-minute conversation,no matter
 which group they were in.
      That suggests curiosity is key to forming and refreshing all kinds of personal relation-
ships and that curiosity itself may be an appealing trait.”I suspect curiosity  will be a vari-
able in understanding how people form and maintain passion in long-term  romantic in long-time 
friendships ,”one researcher said.
      After the experiment ended ,did any of the pairs become something more than good  research
partners?
    “I wish I could answer that question ,”the researcher laughed .“Unfortunately,I  didn’t 
follow up.”（英文选自《21st Century》）  
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